What Oxnard Ca is like then & Now

This is going to be an ongoing post about what life is like for a middle age gay man. I will be honest and I will say what is on my mind. Today I will say is I am in "Sad place". The murder of a gay teen in my hometown has bothered me. It makes me sad because it makes me have reservations about the human race. Growing up in Oxnard I never felt safe for more than one reason. However Oxnard for the size of it has a huge history of violence.

In 1977 a teenage boy is killed and his girlfriend is rapped and left for dead. She survives.In 1979 A teen is murdered in a movie theatre where the movie "The Warriors" is playing"1979 A teen is killed on the job In 1986 A woman is killed in her own home.

In 2008 A gay teen is gunned down in school. There is more. However these somehow effective me. All of them make me angry. All the victims left behind friends and family. When a murder happens a family gets redefined. Not by choice. Memories are now start out with before or after. Now I left Oxnard years ago. Later I met ______ and we have had a life together for the last 10 years. However we live in Mississippi. I went from bad to worse.

When we walk out the door we know we are not safe to even show the slightest sign of affection. I use to be open and honest here in Mississippi. I refused to live in a closet. I was honest wherever I worked! However when I was honest the job became hard. The job didn't change people's ignorance came forward. The latest job I retreated to "Not to talk about my personal life". It has made my work life easier. Being honest doesn't help when you live in the south. The only time in the last 5 years I felt it was safe to show any kind of affection for _____in public was when we saw "Kathy Griffin". It was great. However that was for just 2 hours of the past 5 years. What a world.